If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
Continue ReadingI never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
Continue ReadingWhen we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
Continue ReadingDrown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
Continue ReadingNever give a sucker an even break.
Continue ReadingOnce, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Continue ReadingThe laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
Continue ReadingAbstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Continue ReadingThe best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
Continue ReadingIt ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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